An article earlier this year in Atlantic Magazine underlines how, as humans, we are generally natty communicators. This is evident in the way that people naturally take turns when they communicate with each other and the gap between speakers is so remarkably small. In most conversations each speaker talks for an average of just 2 seconds and the gap is only 200 milliseconds. Remarkably, this pattern varies very little across cultures – with pauses being longest for Danish speakers and shortest for those speaking Japanese.
So how is it that the pause can be so short? True, 17% of communication involves speakers talking at the same time, but this normally lasts for a very brief time due to misfiring when we think the other person has come to the end of their turn. Our secret to making a rapid response is that we are (not always consciously) preparing what to say as the other person is speaking. Most people do not ignore what the other is saying, but are remarkably sensitive to tone, volume and choices of words –adjusting their own response accordingly.
Contrast this with other forms of communication and it becomes very clear why so many problems occur when humans are out of their natural verbal skill set. In the era of the hand written letter a process of adjustment to the monologue had evolved over generations. There was time to reflect as the process was fairly slow and the necessity of placing the letter in an envelope and sending it meant there were many opportunities to reconsider what had been said. But the email – and even more – the text – are alien mediums where many so of us err. Unlike a chatroom or telephone conversation words get quickly lost or miscommunications remedied – but they stick to haunt the sender.
But, of course, all non face-to-face exchanges lack other important elements of communication. Humans have evolved a high level of sensitization to non-verbal cues like gestures and facial expressions – which together with tones of voice, intonation, volume, speed and energy – all deliver what we intend to say. Another advantage of face-to-face communication is that we may adjust what we say as we see the reaction of others to our words. This is especially important when we communicate across cultures – and never more so when we use expressions in our own culture that have a very different meaning in the culture of the person we are speaking to. If, for instance, a Chinese colleague says “I thought I would let my manager know about recent high employee absence levels straight away”, then it would be quite usual for an English colleague to respond by saying “I do not blame you”. However, the concept of “blame” has a very different set of associations in Mandarin and Chinese culture and the response might be an apprehensive or annoyed “Why am I to blame?”
Finally, one other significant difference that emerges once people begin to communicate across cultures primarily by text or emails is speed of response – or whether any response will happen at all. Most corporate cultures rely on rapid and highly interactive communications, but this conflicts with the laid back approach taken in many Latin or Mediterranean cultures. Ironically too an email from a superior can be interpreted as an order (such as in a notice that is posted) for which no individual response is appropriate.
The hands-on HR professional of a former age could use their verbal skills to overcome most day-to-day problems, but the distributed workforce has made this impractical. With this transformation has come a host of attendant communication problems – especially when dealing with different cultures. Most misunderstandings arise because for the other party the intended meaning is non-intuitive or outside their range of experience. Thus strong reactions to a change of company policy may not be due to any consequent inconvenience to an employee, but because of its subtle impact on their visible status or their perceived loss of “face”. That is why it is essential to have an ally at each location who can give feedback on drafted communications – and head off problems before your fateful ‘send’ button is pressed.